A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
