Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
