and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
