The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
