hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
