Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
