she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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