I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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