i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
