u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
