Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
