i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
