My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
