You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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