Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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