Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
