He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This is classic penis vs brain.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
