Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
