Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
