I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize