Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
