you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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