shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish you could order shots online.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
