this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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