we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
