he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
