saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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