I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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