She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
only if we run a train.
done.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
