i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
