I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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