Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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