What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Randomize
