so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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