I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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