shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
