I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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