Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just want nice things and good sex
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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