I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
