thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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