I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
