need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
