I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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