We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
