Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
