I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
high people should be assigned attendants
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
