But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
