After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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