Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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