im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
